yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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