you guys were way drunker than both of me
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
