I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
