i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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