Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
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