So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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