I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
