Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
