yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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