Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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