Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
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