she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?