just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
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