Cold hands, warm shart.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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