I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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