can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize