The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
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I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
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I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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