Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!

(1-313): View more from Michigan

"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"

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(313): Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!! (1-313): "omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore" http://tfl.nu/6kn3

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(303): View more from Colorado

she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip

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(303): she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip http://tfl.nu/86nj

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(410): View more from Maryland

a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out

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(410): a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out http://tfl.nu/89tu

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(313): View more from Michigan

I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.

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(313): I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god. http://tfl.nu/nh0e

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(818): View more from California

Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.

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(818): Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical. http://tfl.nu/onyl

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(516): View more from New York

until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life

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(516): until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life http://tfl.nu/jc1p

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(336): View more from North Carolina

he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.

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(336): he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater. http://tfl.nu/8ycg

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(253): View more from Washington

The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid

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(253): The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid http://tfl.nu/62ef

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us

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(304): Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us http://tfl.nu/9jfi

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.

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(605): Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min. http://tfl.nu/hu1g

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(720): View more from Colorado

She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.

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(720): She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship. http://tfl.nu/wvbn

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.

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(412): You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ. http://tfl.nu/sfn0

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(206): View more from Washington

Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.

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(206): Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience. http://tfl.nu/kvcy

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(313): View more from Michigan

I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.

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(313): I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off. http://tfl.nu/tbu4

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef

(240): View more from Maryland

Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!

(202): View more from Washington, DC

That is the exact response I was looking for.

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(202): Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef (240): Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst! (202): That is the exact response I was looking for. http://tfl.nu/qkl0

Replies (7) Good night (1406) Bad night (295)

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