You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
