# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
