here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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