Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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