Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
organizing the empties. That sober.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
My ATM looks so different sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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