she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
