and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
My vagina is very pro this idea
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