He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
