She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
