I'm gonna have a badass scar
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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