K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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