I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
