do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
