In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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