im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
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Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
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I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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