Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize