i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize