im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
