Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
