I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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