just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
