then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
