forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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