i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
