You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
