I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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