So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
