im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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