the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
