Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
