yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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