forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
