I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
