When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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