No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
