remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
