This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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