Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
My vagina just recognized that song.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
