i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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