You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
